The Klepto Santa Claus Marisa Claus Threat level: Low to Extreme Abilities: Felony breaking and entering, larceny, lack of conscience or guilt. Human Friendship level: Variable Main Place of Activity: Any where that appears to contain valuables…
This creature is mostly seen in the middle of winter when it sneaks into houses via chimney on Christmas Eve (or any time around then really) to steal precious things from good boys and girls. It will often insist it really is Santa in an attempt to silence possible witnesses even though this never fools anyone. It normally dresses in red and white and carries a large brown sack, but this is filled not with toys but the contents of its criminal rampage.
It’s fairly harmless if left alone; although it has a rather alarming and complete disregard for the concept of ownership and will insist on “borrowing” anything interesting it comes across. Don’t be fooled anything “borrowed” will never ever be returned. Since it’s suspected to live deep within the forest of magic when not active recovery of “borrowed” items is also problematic…
Eyewitness Reports “This thing is more annoying then dangerous she showed up in my house yesterday and rummaged through all my draws before wandering off, what a bitch.” (Anonymous)
“She’s giving Red and White a bad name.” (Reimu Hakurei)
“Why doesn’t she ever come to my house…” (Alice Margatroid)
Suggested Countermeasures: Do not attempt to physically stop the creature when it’s ransacking your house as it’s been known to shot FRIKKIN LASER BEAMS if provoked. It’s best to simply ignore it as the creature has a very short attention span and if unable to locate anything valuable quickly will get bored and leave. Safety deposit boxes are an affordable and prudent investment in this regard…
It may also be possible to utilize this lack of attention by distracting it with something else; if occupied for even a short while it’s liable to forget why it even came in the first place. Tea and cookies can be highly effective in this regard.
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Wow where the hell did that come from? That's it, I offically now have no life whatsoever.