Why is this only partially translated?

FlashOfSonic said:
Why is this only partially translated?

Because you haven't finished translating it.

See, in a few years, you will look back upon this moment and realize how horrible your life became after you viewed this picture without being able to read the bog-standard "oh ah it feels so good, my pussy is twitching, rape me more!!" lines. Luckily, as evidenced by the discovery of faster-than-light neutrinos, time travel is just a few short years away. Upon its discovery and commercialization, you will resolve to travel back in time and set right what once went wrong, thus preventing the event that so tormented you. You will teach yourself Japanese, motivated by nothing but your resolve, and then go through the long and arduous process of earning your time travelers license. Never losing sight of your vital goal, you will eventually succeed in securing a time travel device and traveling back in in time.

But then, tragedy will strike. The commercialization of time travel devices, combined with the lack-luster economy and poorly enforced safety requirements, will have led to your own time travel device being poorly manufactured, and the device will suffer a critical malfunction during operation. Luckily, you will wake up uninjured, but you will soon discover that not only have you overshot your goal of January 22, 2012 by four years, your time travel device is broken beyond repair. After spending a few days wallowing in sorrow about having to redo so much of your life, you will then come to your senses, and remind yourself that your goal is too important to lose sight of it now.

You find the nearest internet terminal and access Danbooru. But upon trying and failing to log in, you will realize that your past self has not yet created your account. "No matter," you will think to yourself. You create a second (first?) account with the alias "john1980", since in the future, a law will be passed that will require all time travelers to identify themselves as "John" when interacting with the past. (John Titor, John Smith, etc). At this point, there will be nothing more to do but wait. Over the course of the next four years, you will occupy yourself by being a very good Danbooru user, even earning a Contributor account. Sometimes you will follow your past self and watch him from afar, marveling at his blissful ignorance of the tragedy about to befall him, that you will now be able to prevent.

Finally, the day will arrive. post #1077232 will be posted, and you will set out to fix the source of all problems in your life. Applying your now masterful Japanese skills, you will begin translating the post. But then, you will realize you've made a terrible oversight. You will have forgotten that you LOVE futanari porn! Unable to resist Hatsune Miku's wiles, you will lose all concentration and be compelled to unzip and start fapping. But when you finish, the usual post-ejaculatory apathy will take hold, and you will get distracted by some other trivial matter. Three days later, you will remember what you were supposed to do, and rush to this page in a panic. But alas, clearly it will have been too late. For you see, you have already suffered the fate that your future self sacrificed so much to prevent. You are already scarred, and the seed of your destruction has been planted once again. Upon seeing this, I can only assume your future self will take his own life, having failed to complete his mission.

All we can do is pray that someone else steps up to save you from your terrible fate, FlashOfSonic.

voteup. would read again.

That... That was the best thing I have ever read.

Coconut, can I subscribe to your newsletter?

That would be even better if the picture actually -contained- abovementioned 'bog-standard' dialogue.

Alas, judging from the translated part that does not seem to exactly be the case.

I just read that completely in Gintoki's voice.

That. Was awesome.

Coconut said:

Because you haven't finished translating it.

See, in a few years, you will look back upon this moment and realize how horrible your life became after you viewed this picture without being able to read the bog-standard "oh ah it feels so good, my pussy is twitching, rape me more!!" lines. Luckily, as evidenced by the discovery of faster-than-light neutrinos, time travel is just a few short years away. Upon its discovery and commercialization, you will resolve to travel back in time and set right what once went wrong, thus preventing the event that so tormented you. You will teach yourself Japanese, motivated by nothing but your resolve, and then go through the long and arduous process of earning your time travelers license. Never losing sight of your vital goal, you will eventually succeed in securing a time travel device and traveling back in in time.

But then, tragedy will strike. The commercialization of time travel devices, combined with the lack-luster economy and poorly enforced safety requirements, will have led to your own time travel device being poorly manufactured, and the device will suffer a critical malfunction during operation. Luckily, you will wake up uninjured, but you will soon discover that not only have you overshot your goal of January 22, 2012 by four years, your time travel device is broken beyond repair. After spending a few days wallowing in sorrow about having to redo so much of your life, you will then come to your senses, and remind yourself that your goal is too important to lose sight of it now.

You find the nearest internet terminal and access Danbooru. But upon trying and failing to log in, you will realize that your past self has not yet created your account. "No matter," you will think to yourself. You create a second (first?) account with the alias "john1980", since in the future, a law will be passed that will require all time travelers to identify themselves as "John" when interacting with the past. (John Titor, John Smith, etc). At this point, there will be nothing more to do but wait. Over the course of the next four years, you will occupy yourself by being a very good Danbooru user, even earning a Contributor account. Sometimes you will follow your past self and watch him from afar, marveling at his blissful ignorance of the tragedy about to befall him, that you will now be able to prevent.

Finally, the day will arrive. post #1077232 will be posted, and you will set out to fix the source of all problems in your life. Applying your now masterful Japanese skills, you will begin translating the post. But then, you will realize you've made a terrible oversight. You will have forgotten that you LOVE futanari porn! Unable to resist Hatsune Miku's wiles, you will lose all concentration and be compelled to unzip and start fapping. But when you finish, the usual post-ejaculatory apathy will take hold, and you will get distracted by some other trivial matter. Three days later, you will remember what you were supposed to do, and rush to this page in a panic. But alas, clearly it will have been too late. For you see, you have already suffered the fate that your future self sacrificed so much to prevent. You are already scarred, and the seed of your destruction has been planted once again. Upon seeing this, I can only assume your future self will take his own life, having failed to complete his mission.

All we can do is pray that someone else steps up to save you from your terrible fate, FlashOfSonic.

Amazing doesn't even begin to define that shitpost.

*claps*

Coconut said:

Because you haven't finished translating it.

See, in a few years, you will look back upon this moment and realize how horrible your life became after you viewed this picture without being able to read the bog-standard "oh ah it feels so good, my pussy is twitching, rape me more!!" lines. Luckily, as evidenced by the discovery of faster-than-light neutrinos, time travel is just a few short years away. Upon its discovery and commercialization, you will resolve to travel back in time and set right what once went wrong, thus preventing the event that so tormented you. You will teach yourself Japanese, motivated by nothing but your resolve, and then go through the long and arduous process of earning your time travelers license. Never losing sight of your vital goal, you will eventually succeed in securing a time travel device and traveling back in in time.

But then, tragedy will strike. The commercialization of time travel devices, combined with the lack-luster economy and poorly enforced safety requirements, will have led to your own time travel device being poorly manufactured, and the device will suffer a critical malfunction during operation. Luckily, you will wake up uninjured, but you will soon discover that not only have you overshot your goal of January 22, 2012 by four years, your time travel device is broken beyond repair. After spending a few days wallowing in sorrow about having to redo so much of your life, you will then come to your senses, and remind yourself that your goal is too important to lose sight of it now.

You find the nearest internet terminal and access Danbooru. But upon trying and failing to log in, you will realize that your past self has not yet created your account. "No matter," you will think to yourself. You create a second (first?) account with the alias "john1980", since in the future, a law will be passed that will require all time travelers to identify themselves as "John" when interacting with the past. (John Titor, John Smith, etc). At this point, there will be nothing more to do but wait. Over the course of the next four years, you will occupy yourself by being a very good Danbooru user, even earning a Contributor account. Sometimes you will follow your past self and watch him from afar, marveling at his blissful ignorance of the tragedy about to befall him, that you will now be able to prevent.

Finally, the day will arrive. post #1077232 will be posted, and you will set out to fix the source of all problems in your life. Applying your now masterful Japanese skills, you will begin translating the post. But then, you will realize you've made a terrible oversight. You will have forgotten that you LOVE futanari porn! Unable to resist Hatsune Miku's wiles, you will lose all concentration and be compelled to unzip and start fapping. But when you finish, the usual post-ejaculatory apathy will take hold, and you will get distracted by some other trivial matter. Three days later, you will remember what you were supposed to do, and rush to this page in a panic. But alas, clearly it will have been too late. For you see, you have already suffered the fate that your future self sacrificed so much to prevent. You are already scarred, and the seed of your destruction has been planted once again. Upon seeing this, I can only assume your future self will take his own life, having failed to complete his mission.

All we can do is pray that someone else steps up to save you from your terrible fate, FlashOfSonic.

I'm just replying so I can go back and read this again...

Coconut said:

Because you haven't finished translating it.

See, in a few years, you will look back upon this moment and realize how horrible your life became after you viewed this picture without being able to read the bog-standard "oh ah it feels so good, my pussy is twitching, rape me more!!" lines. Luckily, as evidenced by the discovery of faster-than-light neutrinos, time travel is just a few short years away. Upon its discovery and commercialization, you will resolve to travel back in time and set right what once went wrong, thus preventing the event that so tormented you. You will teach yourself Japanese, motivated by nothing but your resolve, and then go through the long and arduous process of earning your time travelers license. Never losing sight of your vital goal, you will eventually succeed in securing a time travel device and traveling back in in time.

But then, tragedy will strike. The commercialization of time travel devices, combined with the lack-luster economy and poorly enforced safety requirements, will have led to your own time travel device being poorly manufactured, and the device will suffer a critical malfunction during operation. Luckily, you will wake up uninjured, but you will soon discover that not only have you overshot your goal of January 22, 2012 by four years, your time travel device is broken beyond repair. After spending a few days wallowing in sorrow about having to redo so much of your life, you will then come to your senses, and remind yourself that your goal is too important to lose sight of it now.

You find the nearest internet terminal and access Danbooru. But upon trying and failing to log in, you will realize that your past self has not yet created your account. "No matter," you will think to yourself. You create a second (first?) account with the alias "john1980", since in the future, a law will be passed that will require all time travelers to identify themselves as "John" when interacting with the past. (John Titor, John Smith, etc). At this point, there will be nothing more to do but wait. Over the course of the next four years, you will occupy yourself by being a very good Danbooru user, even earning a Contributor account. Sometimes you will follow your past self and watch him from afar, marveling at his blissful ignorance of the tragedy about to befall him, that you will now be able to prevent.

Finally, the day will arrive. post #1077232 will be posted, and you will set out to fix the source of all problems in your life. Applying your now masterful Japanese skills, you will begin translating the post. But then, you will realize you've made a terrible oversight. You will have forgotten that you LOVE futanari porn! Unable to resist Hatsune Miku's wiles, you will lose all concentration and be compelled to unzip and start fapping. But when you finish, the usual post-ejaculatory apathy will take hold, and you will get distracted by some other trivial matter. Three days later, you will remember what you were supposed to do, and rush to this page in a panic. But alas, clearly it will have been too late. For you see, you have already suffered the fate that your future self sacrificed so much to prevent. You are already scarred, and the seed of your destruction has been planted once again. Upon seeing this, I can only assume your future self will take his own life, having failed to complete his mission.

All we can do is pray that someone else steps up to save you from your terrible fate, FlashOfSonic.

What an absolute masterpiece