For those not in the know, this is a bit of a history lesson. When pulling into port alongside IJN Nenohi, IJN Kunashiri was signaled by the former, asking "Why have you not saluted us?". Kunashiri's captain, Commander Kitamura, signaled back "This is Kunashiri." Upon realization, this caused Nenohi's captain, Lieutenant Commander Terauchi to rush out and apologize to Kitamura in person for the offense of improper rank.
So despite the fact that as a proper Destroyer, Nenohi would have been able to blow a hole into Kunashiri like it was nothing, she and her crew were still subservient to the much weaker and smaller Kunashiri simply due to rank/seniority of their captains.