The joke is that the opening line to Kancolle - 「提督が鎮守府に着任しました。 これより艦隊の指揮をとります」 is capable of being broken down, as in 3rd to last panel there, to The Admiral is playing with his dick with the fleet. It's not one that really can be translated easily without either messing up the DJ action, or changing up the intro voice.
The AdmiralKANCOLLE!!!Kancolle!The Admiral is c-c-c-oming in the f-f-fleet!!!Ka-Kakka!Thank you very much ♥Kancolle!! Kakka-Ka-Kancolle!!has c-c-comeBaseTatsuta!! LOGIN VOICEiPad DJ AOBAThe Admiral is com-commanding Colle-Colle-Collection!!c-c-come in t-t-to the base the base!Ka!The A-Admiral is come-coming in the ba-baseTatsutaaaa!!!The Admiral has come into the baseTatsuta-san!?The Admiral-