Untranslatable pun in the title makes life even harder than my poor translation skills already does. Please someone check everything I wrote, I insist.
I think you did a good job with the title, all things considered. The dialogue needed a little polishing here and there (mostly for commas of direct address), but that was it.
Hansen_Sebastian said: Meiling does have scarlet hair, however this is actually Eirin as Meiling.
Oh,and I thought it's Sakuya cosplaying as Meiling,while "black hair" Meiling cosplay as Sakuya.
GestalTzouHoulA pun mixing Touhou with Gestaltzerfall, a phenomenon where it becomes more difficult to recognize a Kanji after looking at it for a while.