Halloween is lame.

Consider:
- Crimmas and Halloween have basically the same amount of candy. Crimmas also has meat and real food too tho.
- Crappy decorations? A tie.
- Crimmas has seeing your relatives who are awful, or worse, awful AND more successful than you. Way scarier. Way more horrifying.
- We each get a specific day each year to be alone and contemplate our brief mortal existence. Birthdays are WAY scarier than Halloween.
- Crimmas generally has at least ONE day off of work or school. Halloween you just don’t show up for anything November 1 because you’re hungover.
- Speaking of which, everyone drinks ALL Crimmas season. Way better.
- Material gifts last longer than candy. And again, both have plenty of candy.
- The second you buy discounted Halloween candy on November 1, you forfeit a preference for Halloween. You really only care about saving money and maximizing gains. This is the true power holiday and scary spirit.