It has no mouth, but it can talk?

So... could this be translated by someone? Please?

JakeBob said:
So... could this be translated by someone? Please?

Seconded. This is the most interesting dounjishi I've seen in quite a while, and I'd love to actually understand what's going on. Please. *grovels on the ground to catch the attention of potential translators*

I humbly beg for a translation.