俺の故郷のには節分という古い文化があってだな。皆、誰しもこの時期は恵方巻という料理を口に咥え豆を投げつけられる事により一年の無病息災を願っていたのだ。ちなみに豆を投げる際「鬼は内」の掛け声の元、自身の内に有ると言う邪気を祓う慣わしがある。それと恵方巻は福を体の内に取り込むということから決して祭事中は口から放してはいけないのだ。さらに豆を自分の歳以上ぶつけられると取り込んだ筈の福まで逃がしてしまうことになるから、お前ら必死に恵方巻を食らいつつ、必死に逃げるんだぞ！さぁ、節分の始まりだ！！（大嘘）あっはっはっはっは！楽しいなぁ！節分！

Where I come from there's this old custom called Setsubun. During this time, everyone puts a food called Ehomaki in their mouths and has beans thrown at them, hoping for a year of good health. Incidentally, the custom is that the person throwing the beans says "Oni get out!", in order to purify evil spirits that may dwell in the house. Also, you must make sure not to let the Ehomaki out of your mouth if you want good fortune to enter your body. Furthermore, if you're hit by more beans than your age, the fortune you were supposed to take in will run away from you, so make sure to hold the Ehomaki tight and run with all you've got!
Now, let Setsubun begin!
(Completely fake) Ahahahaha! This is so fun! Setsubun!