Comments

@Tasty_power_move: self-inserting as the one being violated in porn gives us similar thrills to riding a rollercoaster or watching a good B horror movie. It makes the heart race like you're playing with danger, but deep down you know it's safe and it's just play pretend.

SUnown said in comment #2588459:

@Tasty_power_move: similar thrills to riding a rollercoaster or watching a good B horror movie.

Thats a real concise and pretty goddamn informative analogy you just gave. Thank you very much for your perspective. It fucking punched me in the dick with enlightenment.

Tasty_power_move said in comment #2588266:

Why IS violence so present in the majority of accessible sexual fantasies?

A better question would be why is violence present PERIOD?

Bare in mind that a lot of the "gushing" over such works of fiction are more just to be spiteful and get a rise from those they deem as normal. And doesn't have to be sexual violence; they gush over ANY violence (at least as their online personas).

If you want to understand violence, you need to separate it from sex. Otherwise, I'm sensing this is another fruitless search for a convenient boogieman where there isn't one, just like ever other anti-porn crusade over the centuries. Human nature isn't so simple, neither is violence.

AlsoSprachOdin2 said in comment #2588399:

It helps tickle the overstimulated (women's literature is largely porn, and even more raunchy than it used to be) female libido, which does inherently appreciate dominant and physically powerful men. Such violence is one way of showing not telling such qualities. And fear is next to arousal.
For a lot of men it appeals to frustrations with women.
Just my guess.

Tasty_power_move said in comment #2588266:

Why IS violence so present in the majority of accessible sexual fantasies? Not even a gender thing. I've read plenty of romantasy reviews where they gush about how the Main Girl lead got essentially raped by the CEO MAFIA BOSS while she was sleeping. And that it's somehow "Romantic"
Is it something to do with the desire to be dominant, and domination being closely tied to power, therefore Violence? And what is with the desire to be dominated in the first place? Is it evolutionary?? Why do our brains sometimes say "Yes it feels good to just give up my autonomy."
Not even getting into the Schadenfreude that is NTR...

Shits fucked. BaalBuddy meme gave me post-nut clarity without even nutting.

It's not a "violence" fantasy. If you look at these things, it's more like psychological control. It's getting inside her head, knowing which words will make her give in to him and which validations she needs to hear, and using that knowledge to possess her.
That's why Kylo Ren's "You're nothing... but not to me" speech created so many fangirls.
You rarely see the billionaire screw over a small business, the vampire claim his victim, or the mafia don execute a hit.
The idea is seeing just how far these damaged, often vengeful figures will go and how their mindset will eventually do them.

People use violent fantasies to experience forced submission in a controlled, safe environment. However, they feel conflicted about fantasizing about something that would cause debilitating trauma in real life. Because it is a fantasy, the individual controls the scenario. Fantasies ≠ direct indicators of a desire to act them out in real life.

SUnown said in comment #2588459:

@Tasty_power_move: self-inserting as the one being violated in porn gives us similar thrills to riding a rollercoaster or watching a good B horror movie. It makes the heart race like you're playing with danger, but deep down you know it's safe and it's just play pretend.

I read somewhere that something like this is also the reason why horror games have a higher female to male players than other genres: it allows women to feel the thrill of being scared or vulnerable while being completely safe in a controlled space.

Tasty_power_move said in comment #2588266:
Why do our brains sometimes say "Yes it feels good to just give up my autonomy."

There was a Youtube video I watched a while back of a woman creator discussing this topic (unfortunately I lost the video link, so I'm going off memory). But the idea behind rape fantasies as the one being raped is that you lose any of the personal shame and responsibility that comes from sex outside the established norm. Rape turns sex from an act you consented to and share some responsibility from what occurs to an act which happened to you and you are completely not at fault for. If you live in a sex negative culture, this framing liberates you from the social stigma associated with sex and related acts. I assume it's the same with NTR; the fetishist wants the family support that comes with the legal institution of marriage, but is so ashamed of embracing their own sexuality that they externalize the sexual duties of marriage to another person/entity entirely. This also implies that sex negative cultures ironically encourage more agressive and esoteric kinks, but that's a whole other discussion.

Rape fetishism from the view of the rapist I think is just a need for control/certainty. The rapist's sexuality fits within the social norm but the other aspects that come with a 'normal' sexual relationship are either lacking or they don't care about.