Marisa would just kidnap Koakuma... and Patchouli while she was at it. Or, you know, if she really fell in love with someone besides herself, simply "steal" their house, and move in with them whether they wanted it or not.
Anonymous could hope to beat Patchy. Do you remember that scene in Monty Pythons' Life of Brian with the gladiator where the opponent just run in circles with the gladiator chasing him until he dies in exhaustion? Here is the solution.
If anon wants Koakuma, he should just go for the harem ending with Patchouli instead of trying to defeat her. (And who wants to beat up poor Patchu, anyway?) As a familiar, she's already pretty much part of a package deal, anyway.
Marisa would just kidnap Koakuma... and Patchouli while she was at it. Or, you know, if she really fell in love with someone besides herself, simply "borrow" their house, and move in with them whether they wanted it or not.
FTFY
Huh!? You...like me...!? But, I'm Patchouli-sama's familiar...She won't allow us to start dating...You say that you'll defeat Patchouli-sama through danmaku...WHAT!? What are you thinking!! Of course it's impossible!!Is a normal human like you trying to make an enemy out of Patchouli-sama?
Eh?!
There are guys who still fight a losing battle?
... Geez!! I understand!!
... If you said so...
let's go together to get the permission from Patchouli-sama.
T.. that's because I also love you too!!