What is "almost heart-warming" about this? It's a clip where a mother is guilting her daughter into doing what she wants.
She's not guilting or anything. She thinks Neeko is refusing because she doesn't want to be a nuisance. Except that's not the reason, which is the "almost" part.
She's not guilting or anything. She thinks Neeko is refusing because she doesn't want to be a nuisance. Except that's not the reason, which is the "almost" part.
"Who do you think paid for that cake you're eating? And what about your daily living expenses?" isn't guilting? She's pretty much saying, "I put a roof over your head, so do what I say!"
"Who do you think paid for that cake you're eating? And what about your daily living expenses?" isn't guilting? She's pretty much saying, "I put a roof over your head, so do what I say!"
I understood that as "We're already taking care of you, so you shouldn't worry too much about being a bother". I guess it can be either way, though.
I understood that as "We're already taking care of you, so you shouldn't worry too much about being a bother". I guess it can be either way, though.
I don't really see any way you can see this as just saying she shouldn't worry. Yes, that's the surface speech, but the implication is blatant, and this is classic "Jewish Grandmother Guilt Trip" material (although obviously, it's not strictly Jewish...).
She's saying, "Sure, you can totally blow us off to be by yourself even though we would so dearly want you to be with us, and we sacrifice SO MUCH for you, and you're SUCH A BURDEN TO OUR FAMILY, and your lack of capacity to take care of yourself is A BURNING SHAME TO THE FAMILY, but if you can't be bothered to spend time with the family that loves you and sacrfices so much for you, go ahead, be selfish and stay home because that's what YOU want to do. It's always about what YOU want to do."
Just look at how Neeko reacts to it - she instantly panics, and tries to find any excuse to say "no", and as soon as she does, her mother stabs her with her words, then keeps twisting the knife with things that she knows Neeko can't respond to until Neeko can do nothing but squirm and relent. That's exactly how parental guilting works, provided the child isn't determined enough to overtly break through the subtext and directly confront their parents... and that's what Neeko tries in the child page, stating her honest reason (that she just doesn't want to go), but she utterly lacks the strength to actually confront her mother with any meaningful force for the exact same sets of reasons that make her an agoraphobic NEET to start with, and is therefore forced to go.
I don't really see any way you can see this as just saying she shouldn't worry. Yes, that's the surface speech, but the implication is blatant, and this is classic "Jewish Grandmother Guilt Trip" material (although obviously, it's not strictly Jewish...).
You are too dependent on the translator choice of words. She is only pointing where the money comes from and why she shouldn't worry, different to recriminating her who pays the expenses.
Even if it were that way, letting your daughter do as she pleases up to 20 something with every free will and then request from her only ONE thing to do (enjoy vacations with family) when she gets troubled living on her own sounds reasonable.
You are too dependent on the translator choice of words. She is only pointing where the money comes from and why she shouldn't worry, different to recriminating her who pays the expenses.
Even if it were that way, letting your daughter do as she pleases up to 20 something with every free will and then request from her only ONE thing to do (enjoy vacations with family) when she gets troubled living on her own sounds reasonable.
Umm... I'm a translator, so no, I don't think I'm too dependent upon the translator's choice of words. If anything, while technically accurate on the literal level, I think there may be something unclear in the translation if there are several people who don't get it from reading...
Again, look at the sequence of events, here: Mom: "I want you to go with us on a trip" Neeko: *Panics -notice the "!" and then a WHOLE EXTRA PANEL just dedicated to her sweating and trying to find an excuse- and tries to find a diplomatic way to get out of it* "Umm... don't worry about me, I don't want to be a burden...?" Mom: "What are you talking about? You're just as much a burden if you stay home because we're paying for all your food HERE, too, plus you'd just be burdening your father if you weren't there." -next page- Neeko: *realizes her initial excuse has failed* "Umm... honestly, I just don't want to go." Mom: "YOU'RE GOING IF WE HAVE TO DRAG YOU!"
It's a classic paternal rhetorical caging of a child to get them to do what they want, with the polite facade of a polite conversation between adults slipping away with each panel as it descends into a child throwing a minor tantrum versus a parent putting her foot down.
And yes, there may definitely be justification for such behavior, but that's not the point, the point was that it was being interpreted as "heartwarming" when this is little more than a parent going "you'll do what I say so long as you live under my roof". The subtext is the whole point of this strip, and if you're not picking up on it, you're missing the whole point.
Again, if this wasn't the actual chain of events, why does it end up the way it does in the next page? If this is not a facade that drops, why does it start with polite and cheerful language turning into darkening tones (and even literally darkening speech bubbles) as the polite facade drops away? Keep in mind the entire conceit of this series is how Neeko is so severely socially dysfunctional she can't leave her house or even function socially among her own family, and her parents have to keep treating her as the child she still behaves like. Both by the context of the chain of events that unfold next, and the meaning of this entire series do these words make any sense?
I can with little doubt (due to personal experience) say that this is not a good way to deal with these kind of people. It may be a motivator for normal kids/folk but for those that are as weak minded as Neeko these things do nothing but make her withdraw further and further into her shell, until she either ends up closing herself off from the world or breaks through... which only gets harder the more someone guilt trips you like this.
So no, I don't think he is projecting anything. This is a nasty tactic that both parents and child tend to experience guilt over. I know my parents have always regretted saying this kind of stuff to me since it takes away the person's freedom. Makes you somehow have a "debt" towards your parents. Which shouldn't be how things are done.
It can be used as a motivator, sure, but it is a nasty, deep rooting one that can fester in a person's mind long after they become independent.
What's up with that.You don't have to be so reserved, okay?Good grief!I'm sure that your father would be glad if you go too.Uugh...!Surely you're coming with us for the Golden Week vacation trip, right?D... don't mind about me...Naw...You must be thinking about how "sorry" you are, right?It's always during times like this!Who do you think paid for that cake you're eating!?You don't have to fret about the travelling expenses.I'm sorry...And what about the daily living expenses?