That's just a magician's (Your) nature......To receive power...
To receive knowledge...You made great strides in your research, didn't you?You had remarkable mastery over that art, didn't you?How was it?The feeling of filling the entire land with your puppets.How was it?The feeling of stopping a goddess' plans and putting together a ritual to manipulate time.Wasn't it the best?You could feel that wild enthusiasm, right?