Checked and edited. There was nothing really bad with the translation - it was fine! It's just more a matter of tone.
Mochi's pretty casual there, and 気が緩む is not so much that they don't care if they're seen, it's more that they're putting no effort in.
You could have 'No one cares' rather than 'No one minds', if you'd prefer.
Well, I did have a nagging thought that insisted me on using "No one cares". As you may have guessed, I dismissed the thought. 'aight, thanks for the feedback.
Shipgirls' Daily Life 56Author: Yuuji
Illustrator: Kouji !? What'cha doin'?Is that what the deal is? Nnah...?
Commander? Ah~n... Now that I think about it, while I was on my way here -Since it's the girls' dorm, everyone's off their guard, see.