Second panel, i would do: Haruhi "What, isn't it fine? Kyon is MINE, after all!" Kyonko "Since when was I... oh, am I 'Kyonko' here, then? So confusing!"
Third panel: Haruhi "Ufufu... c'mon... it's because we do things like this!" Kyon "Wha...?! Stupid Haruhi, don't fool around... Don't look! Don't looook!"
Fourth panel: Kyonko "The hell with 'Don't look!' Don't show! Don't let her do it! Don't let her touch! Don't do anything with my body!"
After note: 'Ramee' is a deliberate mispronunciation of 'Dame' that is most often used by... well, girls in pornographic manga, in... er... the heat of the moment. As such, the after note basically means "Don't say things like 'Nooo!' in a sexy voice"
Alhazred23 said: Second panel, i would do: Haruhi "What, isn't it fine? Kyon is MINE, after all!" Kyonko "Since when was I... oh, am I 'Kyonko' here, then? So confusing!"
Third panel: Haruhi "Ufufu... c'mon... it's because we do things like this!" Kyon "Wha...?! Stupid Haruhi, don't fool around... Don't look! Don't looook!"
Fourth panel: Kyonko "The hell with 'Don't look!' Don't show! Don't let her do it! Don't let her touch! Don't do anything with my body!"
After note: 'Ramee' is a deliberate mispronunciation of 'Dame' that is most often used by... well, girls in pornographic manga, in... er... the heat of the moment. As such, the after note basically means "Don't say things like 'Nooo!' in a sexy voice"
Well, what I'm getting from this and the previous page is, I need a lot more of practice D:
You think it's worthwhile to keep translating, or should I stop while I get better?
I mean, you've been doing pretty much all the work here!
The only ways you get better are study and practice, and i think this qualifies as practice. You just got tripped up here because Kyonko got angry and started using really clipped speech. ^_^
It wouldn't be very nice of me, as an amateur translator myself, to tell you to stop.
However, you should know the conjugation "V-ru na", which means "Don't V!", for this series (and manga and anime in general), because Kyonko uses it constantly.
For example, 触るな! "Don't touch me!" is a more masculine version of 触らないで! "Please don't touch me!" Actually 触らないで sounds kind of feminine to me. 男: ああ~ん、触らないで Hehe.
After reading this page a bit more and looking at the original translation, bluntly, I think that you can't do it yet.
The thing that really bothers me is this line:
Kyonko: Misenna! Yarasenna! Sawarasenna!
original - cube - alhazred23 Misenna! - I don't wanna look! - Don't show! Yarasenna! - [skipped it] - Don't let her do it! Sawarasenna! - [skipped it] - Don't let her touch!
I really want to say this strongly: Do not ignore stuff that you don't understand!!! Don't skip words that you can't figure out!
If it were wrong then it would be one thing, but ignoring it and happily going on to the next bubble is something that I need to (verbally) smack you upside the head for.
The way you will learn is by painstakingly figuring out the things you don't understand, not by deciding that they are too hard and phoning it in.
Incidentally, this is the causative conjugation. yaru (do) -> yaraseru (let/make her do) -> yaraseru na (don't let/make her do) -> yarasenna (shortening) sawaru (touch) -> sawaraseru (let/make her touch) -> sawaraseru na (don't let/make her touch) -> sawarasenna (shortening).
Au, saying this makes me feel terrible, but...
...And despite posting all of this, I'm still not going to work on these comics yet (´・ω・`)
My body. Yourself.Don't let her touch! Don't do anything with my body!The hell with 'Don't look!'Since when was I... ohIt's because we do things like this!Wha!?Haruhiko, you're messing with me again!Hey!Kyon is MINE, after all!Ah!Don't look! Don't looook!Like I said, don't call me Haruhiko!What, isn't it fine?Don't say things like 'Nooo!' in such a sexy voiceStupid Haruhi, don't fool around...Don't show! Don't let her do it!Ufufu... c'mon...Am I 'Kyonko' here, was it? So confusing!